so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
