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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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