The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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