I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
