the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize