1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
