You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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