Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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