Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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