Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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