well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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