We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
