she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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