she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
