Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
