Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i now understand why vodka
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize