you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you didnt know i had herpes?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this will be a night to untag.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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