Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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