people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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