what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
