i'm lost and i look like a hooker
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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