saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
