...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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