you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
