Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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