If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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