you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
