...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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