Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
