he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
