I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
pray to the hookup gods
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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