I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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