mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
