god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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