I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
