i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
