There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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