...so i touched it.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
