did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize