All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
