Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
try to milk me bitch
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
