dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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