i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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