your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
