Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
