omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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