It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
