I want to have your abortion
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
