so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
