I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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