So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize