No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
