why didn't you poke me back
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
