the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
