is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
