She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i love accidental penises.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
