Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
