You can't special order awesome
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
