why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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