I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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