i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
