woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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