Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
