So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
