No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think my moral compass just broke
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
